In search of the simultaneous orgasm: How to increase pleasure during intercourse
Have you noticed that heterosexual couples in movies seem to be able to orgasm at exactly the same time, usually after about 30 seconds of sex in the missionary position? Oh, and it all happens without any need for dialogue...because we all like the same things, right?
The media sets up some pretty unrealistic expectations. As a result, one of the most common questions we hear from women is "how can I orgasm during intercourse?" Unfortunately, this question often stems from a fear that there's something wrong with us - that our body isn't doing what it's "supposed" to do because we can't achieve simultaneous orgasm during intercourse, or worse yet, we can't orgasm with our partner, period.
We really don't like talking about what's "normal" when it comes to sex (since there are about as many different sexual responses and preferences as there are people), but we also know it can be comforting to learn you're not alone if your experiences don't match the standards set by the media. That's why we want to say that if you have difficulty orgasming during intercourse, you're in good company. Studies estimate that approximately 70% of women require some kind of clitoral stimulation in order to climax. Furthermore, 53-67% report faking orgasm with their partner.
So although today's post is all about increasing pleasure during intercourse (that's the question we were asked so we want to make sure we answer it!), we really want to highlight how helpful it can be to take the focus off penetration. There are lots of ways to have fun with a male partner that don't involve penis-in-vagina sex.
In this episode of Red Tent Sisters' TV we share:
The best positions for increasing clitoral stimulation during intercourse (hint: the list doesn't include missionary!)
Why "grinding" can be more pleasurable than thrusting
How to make good use of your hands (and his!)
Why we're fans of spooning
Ways to incorporate toys into partner play (and how they can increase his pleasure too)
You may not be the only one feeling like there's something "wrong" with you because your sex life doesn't match what you've seen in the movies. We also hear from men who worry they're "not good" in bed if they can't bring their partner to orgasm during intercourse or if a toy needs to be introduced on the scene to "finish the job". We hope this video helps put those concerns to bed (so to speak) and enables you both to ditch the shame in favour of more fun in the sack.
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Kim & Amy Sedgwick love to discuss sex, periods, and all the other things we’re not supposed to talk about. The co-founders of Red Tent Sisters and ecosex.ca, they’ve been featured in every major Canadian news outlet and have become a trusted resource for women seeking natural (effective!) birth control, a more joyful sex life, and an empowered journey to motherhood.
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