How to introduce sex toys to a male partner (without bruising his ego)
A vibe can be a couple's best friend. The question is, how do you help HIM see it that way (and make sure he doesn't feel "replaced")?
Historically, sex toys were marketed towards the single lady. That's certainly changed in the last few years with the popularity of the We-Vibe and other couple toys, but it can still be tricky to introduce a vibe to a lover without implying they're doing something wrong. That's why our #1 tip is to make it clear that toys are all about adding to the existing pleasure (we can always have more fun!) Here are some other suggestions for introducing some buzz into the bedroom without hurting anyone's feelings:
Shop together so he feels part of the process. Bonus: looking at all those fun accoutrements might just spark some other experimentation.
Choose something that's versatile. That way, if it turns out you don't love using it together, you can always use it solo.
The media really isn't doing us any favours with their depictions of sex. Most of what we see is missionary-style intercourse and yet the woman seems to come every time. In reality, 70% of women can't orgasm from intercourse alone. Seventy percent! Knowing that, it makes sense to add some extra stimulation :)
Looking for toy recommendations? Here's a list of Kim's personal faves for partner play. You might also be interested in our Gift Guide for Couples.
Kim & Amy Sedgwick love to discuss sex, periods, and all the other things we’re not supposed to talk about. The co-founders of Red Tent Sisters and ecosex.ca, they’ve been featured in every major Canadian news outlet and have become a trusted resource for women seeking natural (effective!) birth control, a more joyful sex life, and an empowered journey to motherhood.
Want more inspiration from the sisters? Join our mailing list for updates, articles, and special offers. Or, join the conversation on Facebook & Twitter.